The Writer's Right

Sometimes I grieve….

Maybe it’s because the anniversary of his accident is coming soon. Who knows? I was teary-eyed yesterday off and on. It just hits me sometimes. I mean I’m glad I have him and he’s walking and talking but no one realized that he’s so different. He’s not the fun-loving man I grew up with, the the one who was quick to pull us in close for a hug and a kiss, and the one who liked family adventures and was quick with a smile that lit up his entire face. He’s so distant now and just not as affectionate. And sometimes it just gets to me.

Watching Jeff and his daughter yesterday, with that look of admiration she has for him and the gleam in his eye that he has for her just got to me for some reason. Then we were in Cabela’s looking at guns (window shopping), and again I thought of my dad as I walked through an aisle of rifles. He used to go on and on about shooting and his pistol team. It’s like the passion is gone.

I don’t know, it just gets me to at weird times. Most times I think I accept it, but sometimes I grieve for the dad I grew up with. I’m grateful that he’s with us, but at times I just miss him all the same.