Murphy the pug

Mommy’s not feeling the spirit of Christmas

She’s brought a tree inside the house for the third year in a row that I’m not allowed to pee on, and now she’s saying some very bad words about the lights. I’m not allowed to repeat those words, but it’s not pretty. Apparently she put them on wrong and has to take them ALL off. She’s not a happy camper.

Just when she got the lights ok, more bad new struck. She was putting the ornaments on, singing her favorite carol, “Jingle Bell Rock” and she went running away from the tree screaming like a girl. Something about there being spiders all over the top. She ran into the bathroom and got hair spray to, what, set the little spiders’ hair? I’m not sure, but she was spraying the three. Then grabbed the vacuum. I’m not sure it’ll suck the tree up, but I’m just a pug, who was I to argue.

There was no end to this comedy of errors at that point. She called Grandma and told her to look out and mumbled something about using “the cheap hairspray that she had at that jerk’s house because she wasn’t wasting her $20 a bottle salon stuff on stupid spiders.” Then she sprayed the bug spray she sprays on herself when she walks me in the woods. Then she snapped on the vacuum with the crevice tool and yelled “DIE SPIDER SCROOGES, DIE!”

And now she’s mad because the house does not smell like pine trees and Christmas, but instead like the haircare aisle in our local drug store. She’s mumbling something about having to buy a new Yankee Candle to get the smell back in.

And in the middle of all this, the tree almost came down. If she didn’t lose it then, I think we’ll make it through the season.

The night ended with Mommy is under the tree, watering it with her hood up so those “$%#ING BUNGING JUMPING SPIDERS” couldn’t get her.

They say the holidays does weird things to ya. 

1. Oh, Murphy. Maybe you should stay at Camp Grandma where the sane people live.

   Posted by Uncle Mike  on  12/04  at  09:21 AM

2. hahahaha - sorry, but oh to see a video of that escapade!  Poor mama...spiders, yuck!  Now she will be dreaming of spiders instead of sugarplums!

   Posted by Punchbugpug  on  12/04  at  10:46 AM

3. Ewwwww - Christmas trees should come with a no-spider guarantee!

   Posted by Kara  on  12/05  at  02:14 AM

4. Hi Murphy! I think I know you from Pug Village! Mind if I link you to you on my blog? -Tonka

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